Kids are animals. At the very least, kids are a lot like animals in that they don’t have a problem putting their mouth on anything that seems tasty, feels interesting, or will likely elicit an entertaining response from any grown-ups in the room.
As parents ourselves, we get it—there’s really no controlling what your kid licks, which is why we make cleaning products and pest control solutions that give us the peace of mind that comes from food-based, non-toxic ingredients that are safe around your littlest loved ones. In fact, every single one of our cleaning products has earned an “A” rating from the Environmental Working Group, so you can clean the whole house with confidence.
In the spirit of radical honesty and parental commiseration, here are a few real things our kids have put in their mouths.
- iPhones and iPads and iEverything else. We don’t need to tell you that your phone is gross—in fact, it’s probably ten times dirtier than a toilet seat—but we can tell you that our phones have been thoroughly tasted by our tots. The next time your kid settles in for a few episodes of Daniel Tiger, give it a swipe with a Cleaning Vinegar Wipe.
- All of the floors. Kids don’t believe in the 10-second rule. In fact, we’ve walked in on our kids licking drips of ice cream straight from the floor in front of the fridge and happily munching on snacks forgotten on the bathroom floor since who knows when. Enter Aunt Fannie’s Floor Cleaning Vinegar Wash for kid-safe mopping!
- Everything dog-related. From blowing bubbles in the dog’s water bowl to sharing post-fetch tennis balls, if something’s beloved by Fido, we’ve seen it get slobbered on by our kids. Sure, seeing your pooch land a wet one on your kid’s cheek is cute, but when your child goes in for a few licks of her own and ends up with a mouthful of fur, things get decidedly less Instagrammable. Swab those chew toys with Cleaning Vinegar Wipes, clean the area around the water bowl with Floor Cleaning Vinegar Wash, and know that your pet’s probably contributing to the good health of your kid, not hurting them.
- Shoes, sandals, boots, and heels. There’s a reason many cultures frown on wearing shoes indoors—we track in all sorts of nasty things when we bring the outdoors in! Sure, a little mud is pretty easy to wipe up, but when you catch your kid with a mouthful of laces and soles, you start wondering what else you walked on in the past few days. We recommend keeping shoes near the front door and embracing the barefoot life inside. It’s better for your floors and your posture to spend some time unshod.
- Kitchen appliances. One Aunt Fannie’s staffer reports, “My two-year old nephew actually licks the glass of the oven door after my sister sprays it down with Aunt Fannie’s Glass & Window Wash. He likes the vinegar taste!” We like a kid who appreciates sophisticaed flavors… and while we didn’t design our sprays to be delectable, we certainly designed them to keep kitchen surfaces spotless and kid safe. Lick on, dude.
- Windows, indoors and out. Speaking of Glass & Window Wash, our kids are curious about the world outside and have certainly made a habit of pressing their tongues against the glass when gazing out the window.Luckily our window wash is made from kid-safe ingredients like rosemary, eucalyptus, orange, and peppermint oils—and they’ll clean up any streaks or haziness left behind by wet noses or hot breath.
- Dirty dish rags and kitchen scrubbing sponges. These guys are like the internet search history of our kitchens—they tell the tale of everything we’ve eaten, spilled, and sprayed until we wash or toss them, so you’ll want to make sure that history is kid-safe. Wiping surfaces with Cleaning Vinegar instead of bleach or other conventional products will keep those towels non-toxic if (okay, when) they end up in someone’s mouth.
- Siblings. Whether they’re pretending to be curious cats or seek comfort in their sister’s thumb, little kids are prone to licking just about everything around them, inanimate or not. We can’t really help you with this one until we develop a line of baby body wash (hmm… that’s not a bad idea), but kids are gonna be kids!
We can’t promise seeing your kid licking melted popsicle off the floor will be any less gross, but with Aunt Fannie’s it’ll definitely be safer. Ready to ditch the harmful chemicals and switch to microbiome-safe cleaning? Our Healthy Household Bundle offers major (32%!) savings on our favorite supplies—Cleaning Vinegar, Cleaning Vinegar Wipes, Floor Cleaner Vinegar Wash, Glass & Window Vinegar Wash, FlyPunch!, and All-Purpose Pest Remedy—to serve as your kids-are-gross-but-my-cleaning-products-aren’t starter kit.